A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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