Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
That accounts for only three of the penises
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
