dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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