addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
