I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
