I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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