My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I have fence marks all over my body
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
