My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
