I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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