Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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