dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize