is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
