he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
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