I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
zippers are such a cool invention
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize