turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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