whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
