honey bunches of taint.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
