You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
