thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
God, you're like boner-b-gone
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Randomize