Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
we're making bets on your personal life
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I see more hoeing in ur future
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