I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
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