If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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