Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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