what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
