Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Mom said you looked used
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
