we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
