Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
