I love how my cats smell like pot.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
be right there i have to get my cape
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
