Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
