It's like God shit irony all over that family
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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