Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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