it was like eating out sand paper
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
