i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
