reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I wish you could order shots online.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
