Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
You may now shotgun with the bride
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
