I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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