Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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