I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
