the new term for farting is butt boxing.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
40s are totally the cure
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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