Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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