I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
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