Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
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