Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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