I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
