new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
