I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Randomize
