Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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