i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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