I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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