He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
