Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I think people are normalizing furries
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
