It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
