so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
