I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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