Jerry, you need to find god
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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