so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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