My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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