and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
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