I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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